Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Feeling a little agitated....

so I came here to see if I can get some advice from some of you christian ladies. I have 3 boys as most of you know and my wonderful hubby now is not the father. The two youngest have the same dad whom has paid about $200.00 in child support all their lives. Devin is now 16 and Dylan 13. Here is my problems, he is constantly saying things to upset me and to make my life miserable. I have home-schooled my boys for the last 4 yrs and before that had them in a private school which I and my hubby paid for every month. Well he has for the last several years tried to talk them into going back to public school so they can have friends... So now this year he has finally drilled it into their heads enough that's what they want to do. Problem is they have to have all new clothes because the school they have to attend will only allow them to wear straight leg jeans and collared shirts, which they don't even have any pants like this and hardly any collared shirts. I told them to call their dad and get him to buy their clothes since he wanted them to go to this school. I would be happy to buy some clothes,(some not all) if I even had the money but we are strapped for money right now like most people. So the ex has the nerve to call hubby this morning and tell him how sorry we are cause his kids called him begging for clothes and even called his mom, their grandmother and mentioned it to her. I just want to scream and then break down and cry. Sometimes I wish he would just fall off the face of the earth!! I have really had to pray about matters over him because he loves to see me miserable. My question for you ladies is what is your advice on how to deal with him? I know this won't be the last time. I want to deal with him in a christian manner but even to hear his voice on the phone makes me sick. So any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks and Blessings to each of you, Karen


Barbara said...

Wow my heart goes out to you for sure, my middle daughter went through this with her X he never wanted anything to do with the kids, he did pay child support when it was 200.00 for both children, well long about ages 15 and 16 he was slapped with a new child support order, 700.00 a month, well now he was all lovey dovey wanting them to come live with him and his new wife and their two girls, my daughter was devastated too, and he promised my grandchildren all sort of things if they would come. Well they did go, and he made my daughters life miserable, he did not follow through with any of the promises, and sued my daughter for child support being he had the kids, UGH!! I wanted to get hold of him my self, (in Christian love of course) but this went on a few years, the kids were miserable those couple years and kept running back home to my daughters house, they were not allowed to drink the juices bought for the little girls, and could not have various things that were bought for them, Oh me I was steaming too, and my poor girl was just ready to kill him, honestly she was so upset, so any how they both got old enough to make the choice in the courts and they went back home with my daughter, by then he did not have to pay child support any longer, and he never spoke to any of them again, My granddaughter got married and wanted him to give her away, he said no, and did not even come to her wedding, she had her first born, and he never acknowledged the little ones birth, he is a miserable creature, and I hope they never have a need for him in their life, he has made them miserable all of their lives, all of them. I see no solution except when they get old enough to just make the choice they want, I am sorry there is not quick fix or fixer upper solution. Pray, then pray some more and perhaps God will intercede where man cannot. Hugs my friend, and sure will be praying for you. You asked when our fire was it was in October 1990and yes we lost everything we owned, I even lost my Persian cat Garfielda, but God has given us things now and brought us so close to him I never regret the fire, I was bitter a bit but that soon passed as I seen God work such marvellous works in our life. Keeping you in my prayers dear sister, and knowing God will take care of you all and all this mess your X causes.

Janean said...

the only thing i've seen work is asking if the Lord will guide you to Scripture like Psalm 31:18 or Psalm 68 to pray. then pray it every. single. day.

be patient with the Lord. it works.

ask the Lord to show you how to avoid getting in verbal tug-of-wars and power struggles.


countrynmore said...

I hear you on this one although I haven't personally had to deal with this, but my brother has. My ex-sil has turned her children against their father. My brother found out that his daughter got married through my other brother. Evidently, my niece posted it on face book. My ex-sil has always given my brother grief and made his life miserable. I am so sorry that you are having problems with your ex as well. It is my belief that if he wanted to be a part of his children's lives, then he should be paying child support.



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Meansville, Ga, United States
I am a housewife, love the Lord with all my heart . I have three wonderful boys, and have one of the greatest hubby in the world!


Dylan and Mom

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